How to Deal with Mean People

by | Feb 16, 2020 | Dance, Life, Motivation | 2 comments

Many of you out there will have experienced mean people, many times on social media, but also in face-to-face situations.

These attacks are further exacerbated when you are a champion or are born into a family of champions, where it is inevitable that you will meet people ready to dish out a generous amount of meanness.

My Real Life Experience, at just 13

A vivid example of this for me was when I was at school, at just 13 years of age.

Let’s just say I was a fabulous 13 year-old, and extremely focused. I would say that the teachers liked me, but didn’t love me. I was well groomed, very quiet, and kept to myself. In fact, I was very much a loner, not really belonging to any ‘group’. I think the boys ‘l-o-o-o-v-e-d’ me, but I had no time for boys. Academically, I was the 2nd highest in the grade, and as a top dancer I was starting to become extremely well known in my town.

So, with my early successes in mind, I guess it is understandable that some people might have felt aggrieved. Although, by what, exactly? Me?

The reality was that I was just a quiet girl that kept to herself and who stayed in her own lane. I was not in any of the popular groups at school, and only had a few good friends.

I remember one particular morning like it was yesterday, when my one classmate, for no reason at all, had a full-on go at me. Having walked into the classroom and put my school bag down, I then proceeded to walk out for assembly when she spotted me, changing course and walking towards me, shouting, “You know, I am so sick and tired of you. You prance around like you own the school. I hate the sight of you. You make me sick, sick, sick. I HATE YOU!!

I just stood still, shocked and dumbstruck. It must have been a couple of seconds, but which felt a lot longer. I blinked, said “okay”, and then walked out of the classroom.

BOOM!!! How about that?

I didn’t have anything else to say. Besides, what does one say after something like that?

We never uttered another word to each other for the entire remaining four years of our high school, even at certain times when we were in the same classroom together.

Oh, the Irony . . .

Here is the irony . . . I went on to coach her relatives in dance! I dare not think what she might have been thinking then. In the years after the incident, I often wondered why she was so angry? Her deep unhappiness was so apparent to me.

My take on mean people is that they are generally really unhappy and sad people. In fact, I believe that they are miserable at most things in life . . . but, mainly at THEIR LIVES.

Very often there is something or someone that triggers the ‘wounded self’, and they lash out.

What can YOU do?

So with the above said, it is my belief that the number one thing that you can do to handle mean people is to SMILE!

Yes, just smile! Smiling is a silent killer. It sounds simple, but it is ever so powerful!

The second thing you should do is to LOOK THEM STRAIGHT IN THE EYES to show them that you see them. This might upset them or make them more angry, but they might also get embarrassed by their actions. Most importantly, DO NOT AVOID THEM.

The third piece of advice is to KEEP MOVING IN YOUR LANE! If you focus on them you will quickly lose your direction. So, do not let them steal your energy and focus.

Lastly, DON’T MAKE THEM YOUR ENEMY! They don’t know what they are doing. Rather send them well-intended prayers and positive energy.


Give me YOUR comments and suggestions

So, for those who have experienced mean people, try what I suggest above . . . I’d love to know if my suggestions prove useful to you.

Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section below. How do YOU handle mean people?

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